Birds Love Me

Or at least, I assume that is the case, since they always find a way to sneak into my dryer vent and then flail around in the tubing until they get my attention.

Last Friday, I walked into my laundry room to start the laundry for that week, and noticed an unpleasant odor. Kind of like the smell of dead mice… I remember it from when I was a kid and we lived in Colorado and had a basement. Sometimes we got that smell in the furnace room down there. Anyhow, it wasn’t great, but I thought, hey, I’ll do the laundry and maybe that will clear out the smell. The next day, my Josh walked into the laundry room and exited with a look of “ick” on his face and said “Aly, I think something died in our dryer vent.” To which I replied, “Yeah, I wondered about that.” 🙂

So, realizing it was an actual issue that should be addressed, I called Todd at AMS Appliance (if y’all need something fixed appliance-wise in your kitchen or laundry, I’ll give you his number… he’s tall, good-looking, and smells yummy… not exactly what you expect from an appliance guy!) to find out that he was taking Easter weekend off. Great. So I closed the laundry room door and made plans to stay out until Todd came.

Todd called on Monday and said the earliest he could get out would be Wednesday between 3:30 and 5:30 and that cleaning out a dryer vent costs $95. Great. Any advice on how to keep the stench to a minimum? He suggested I keep the door closed. Excellent advice. 🙂

At 4 p.m. on Wednesday Todd came, and delicately asked me for a bag to put the “remains” in. What are the remains of? A fairly large bird (no, I didn’t look). Maybe that’s why I didn’t hear any flailing or anything, just the smell… it must have died on it’s way in or something.

The whole dryer vent got cleaned out, blown out, clean as a whistle. Yay!

On Thursday, I spent the whole morning doing my taxes, then I took a very quick shower and ran downstairs to eat some lunch and check my e-mail before going to pick up Caroline at school. Just as I sit down and begin to take a bite of my steaming hot and delicious leftovers, I hear it. A scratching noise. Please, Lord, let it be Momo’s fingernails on the tile floor. I look for Momo and he is asleep at the base of the stairs. Then I go into the laundry room and give the dryer hose a nice kick and get a frantic reaction from within. Perfect. STUPID BIRD!!!!

I called Todd and asked if he replaced the screen over the outside vent before he left, and he says that he did, so I tell him what has happened and he can’t believe another bird got in there. It’s like I’m cursed or something!

Well, the last time this happened, Josh and I tried to rectify the situation ourselves with a shoebox and that didn’t work out so well because we ended up with a bird flying around our laundry room pooping everywhere and losing feathers and trying to escape from under the laundry room door. So I decide that I will bypass the “Josh and Alyson fix” and go straight to the professionals at Animal Control.

I call the police department and ask to speak to Animal Control. The nice girl Kimberly there informs me they “don’t do that” and I tell her, well, you’ve done it for me before… what do I need to do, let it out in my house to make it more of a “situation”? She says she’ll let dispatch make that decision, and sends me back to the police department. Luckily for me, the dispatcher feels sorry for my bad bird luck and agrees to send someone out. That, of course, is when I have to tell her “great, but you can’t send them right now because I’m heading out the door to pick up my daughter at preschool and then I have to get my other daughter and take her to a doctor’s appointment”. She’s a sweetheart and schedules it for 4 p.m. when I know I’ll definitely be back home.

I picked up Carebear at school, played on the playground for 45 minutes, then got Mickey and headed to Home Depot to get a “bird and rodent cage” which is something that you can affix to the outside dryer vent to prevent birds from getting in (since our little screen wasn’t working so well, obviously). Only problem: dryer vent is high, and I don’t have a high enough ladder. Other problem: our house is hardiplank, and it takes a drill to put anything up on it. What does this mean? I have to let Josh do it.

John the Animal Control guy came out and easily removed the bird (taking off his dog poop covered boots before entering my home… thank you, John) which seemed pretty beat-up from the whole incident. I assured Carebear that the little bird was fine and John was going to take care of it (and by take care of it, I’m sure John was going to have to put it out of its misery, but I digress).

My most sincere hope is that my sweet hubby will get this taken care of PRONTO so that we don’t end up with another “bird situation”. Because those people at the police department/animal control know my name and my penchant for getting birds stuck in my dryer vent, and they prefer to deal with things like rabid bats and raging pitbulls.

3 thoughts on “Birds Love Me

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